Indecision
Ok, so she responded to my Email with - as expected - a polite but non-committal answer. If I leave the ball in her court, it will go nowhere. The responsibility for moving things forward rests solely with me. I suspect, given her reserved nature, that any relationship we could have would largely remain that way: very one-sided. If we were talking long-term, that would simply not work for me. That's a deal-breaker. But we're not talking long-term, we're talking 4-6 weeks max. So the question is what do I want to do with the time that is available to me.
Which returns me to "I don't know."
It's not that I'm adverse to starting a short-term relationship that doesn't have that usual open-ended indefinite nature. I've done that in Greenwood many times when I was younger, when I started seeing women I only expected to be working with for 6 weeks and who were from different provinces. We usually tried to continue it long distance afterward, it routinely failed, and I never had any regrets for what time we did share together. But I had certain expectations of those relationships that I don't think I can assume here.
There are differing levels and types of relationships that take place: emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical. On an emotional level, given her reserved nature, I doubt we'd develop a strong bond in that short a time, if ever. I've seldom felt a spiritual bond to any woman, and in some ways I expect that's how I'll some day know I've found "the one", but that's a story for another day. On an intellectual level, she's incredibly bright, but we don't seem to share many of the same interests. On a physical level, I certainly find her attractive, but given her age and possibly an almost-reclusive nature, I don't expect we'd end up in a "sexually-charged" relationship. I also figure, given the short time frame and our schedules, we'd end up seeing each other only about 8-12 times before she left, regardless of what kind of relationship we formed.
So do I go forward? Do I expect anything? Do I let it wither and die, assuring myself we're too different or she's too young? Do I seize it as an opportunity that should be explored before it's dismissed?
*shrugs and shakes his head*
Which returns me to "I don't know."
It's not that I'm adverse to starting a short-term relationship that doesn't have that usual open-ended indefinite nature. I've done that in Greenwood many times when I was younger, when I started seeing women I only expected to be working with for 6 weeks and who were from different provinces. We usually tried to continue it long distance afterward, it routinely failed, and I never had any regrets for what time we did share together. But I had certain expectations of those relationships that I don't think I can assume here.
There are differing levels and types of relationships that take place: emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical. On an emotional level, given her reserved nature, I doubt we'd develop a strong bond in that short a time, if ever. I've seldom felt a spiritual bond to any woman, and in some ways I expect that's how I'll some day know I've found "the one", but that's a story for another day. On an intellectual level, she's incredibly bright, but we don't seem to share many of the same interests. On a physical level, I certainly find her attractive, but given her age and possibly an almost-reclusive nature, I don't expect we'd end up in a "sexually-charged" relationship. I also figure, given the short time frame and our schedules, we'd end up seeing each other only about 8-12 times before she left, regardless of what kind of relationship we formed.
So do I go forward? Do I expect anything? Do I let it wither and die, assuring myself we're too different or she's too young? Do I seize it as an opportunity that should be explored before it's dismissed?
*shrugs and shakes his head*
posted by unfoldingsoul at 11:25 AM
2 Comments:
Yuo ask her out again, this time go to a movie, or a play, or some sort experience that you both get to have, sot hat you have some sort of common ground for conversation and then see where it goes when having drinks after...
Actually, that'd be about the only time I *don't* analyze things like that. =p Welcome to My Mind.
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