Open and Shut
What a strange day.
I arrived at work to find an ex-girlfriend with whom I hadn't spoken in years was adding me to her messenger, and after puzzling for 5 minutes over whether to accept or block, I chose accept, only to be assailed simultaneously by a Phil telling me about last night's code changes and Joanne asking me to bring her up to speed on how many days I was owed on which contracts so they could cut me a check today, at the same time those first hello messages were coming in from the ex.
I assumed before I accepted it that she was coming to "play Jesus to the lepers in her head" (thank you, Bono, for that fabulous line), but that wasn't quite the case. Or at least it wasn't the whole case. In any case, we're not going forward talking, but we did peacefully exchange a short conversation. I hope it brought her some peace with herself.
I'm sure I've many friends who'd say I didn't owe her that conversation, and who'd suggest I should have clicked block to save myself potential heartache. You're right - I didn't owe her that conversation, but that's not why I accepted it. And I wasn't risking potential heartache; she cannot hurt me now. It's been too long. The wounds have closed.
Meanwhile, back the present and possible futures... I don't rule out that I might still have a 2nd date with Emily. But basing it on the simplest possible determining factor: "Did I have a good time the first time?" The answer would be... "enh... it's was ok". It felt like entirely too much work. There wasn't a lot of laughing and smiling on either side of the table. She's a very attractive, intelligent woman. But she doesn't feel like the one for me, and while I'd still love to at least seduce her for a little meow-woowoowoowoo-rawr-weeeeeeee-boing!-hubbadahubbadah-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, she seems so innocent, I think I'd feel like I was taking advantage, in spite of her being a grown woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. If she was brave enough to come forward and suggest the 2nd date herself, mind you, she'd score huge bonus points, and then I'd simply have to. Man, I love no-nonsense, aggressive women. :)
But hark! I've been continuing to browse the personals, and sending out a few winks and the occassional message. There's a woman whose profile I came across last night, and looking at the photo, I'm SURE I recognize her, but I just can't remember from where. And I've been wracking my brain all night and all day, and I just can't place it. And the fact that she's sexy looking and has a killer smile (hold me, I feel weak) only makes me all the more nuts about it, because if it turns out we do know each other, it could make this whole process a lot faster and smoother. (Every time she smiles, I'd melt and babble like an idiot though. I would have to steel myself against that.) So I dropped her a line, and with luck, maybe I can meet her and we'll see where things go.
And she's not the only woman I've contacted either. *G*
All these boyfriend skills, going to waste... ladies, c'mon - talk to your friends. The network is just not doing its job. :P
I arrived at work to find an ex-girlfriend with whom I hadn't spoken in years was adding me to her messenger, and after puzzling for 5 minutes over whether to accept or block, I chose accept, only to be assailed simultaneously by a Phil telling me about last night's code changes and Joanne asking me to bring her up to speed on how many days I was owed on which contracts so they could cut me a check today, at the same time those first hello messages were coming in from the ex.
I assumed before I accepted it that she was coming to "play Jesus to the lepers in her head" (thank you, Bono, for that fabulous line), but that wasn't quite the case. Or at least it wasn't the whole case. In any case, we're not going forward talking, but we did peacefully exchange a short conversation. I hope it brought her some peace with herself.
I'm sure I've many friends who'd say I didn't owe her that conversation, and who'd suggest I should have clicked block to save myself potential heartache. You're right - I didn't owe her that conversation, but that's not why I accepted it. And I wasn't risking potential heartache; she cannot hurt me now. It's been too long. The wounds have closed.
Meanwhile, back the present and possible futures... I don't rule out that I might still have a 2nd date with Emily. But basing it on the simplest possible determining factor: "Did I have a good time the first time?" The answer would be... "enh... it's was ok". It felt like entirely too much work. There wasn't a lot of laughing and smiling on either side of the table. She's a very attractive, intelligent woman. But she doesn't feel like the one for me, and while I'd still love to at least seduce her for a little meow-woowoowoowoo-rawr-weeeeeeee-boing!-hubbadahubbadah-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, she seems so innocent, I think I'd feel like I was taking advantage, in spite of her being a grown woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. If she was brave enough to come forward and suggest the 2nd date herself, mind you, she'd score huge bonus points, and then I'd simply have to. Man, I love no-nonsense, aggressive women. :)
But hark! I've been continuing to browse the personals, and sending out a few winks and the occassional message. There's a woman whose profile I came across last night, and looking at the photo, I'm SURE I recognize her, but I just can't remember from where. And I've been wracking my brain all night and all day, and I just can't place it. And the fact that she's sexy looking and has a killer smile (hold me, I feel weak) only makes me all the more nuts about it, because if it turns out we do know each other, it could make this whole process a lot faster and smoother. (Every time she smiles, I'd melt and babble like an idiot though. I would have to steel myself against that.) So I dropped her a line, and with luck, maybe I can meet her and we'll see where things go.
And she's not the only woman I've contacted either. *G*
All these boyfriend skills, going to waste... ladies, c'mon - talk to your friends. The network is just not doing its job. :P
posted by unfoldingsoul at 6:29 PM
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